Understanding The Guy Language

Remember when we talked about Understanding The Girl Language a few days ago? You know, what girls say versus what they really mean? Well, the girls came complaining that we let out all the girl secrets. Oops! So they're demanding a guy version of the post to even things out. Since we aim to please, here goes...

What he says: It's not you, it's me

Meaning: Yeah, it's you! ...and he's trying to break up with you with as little drama as possible

What he says: I'll call you

Meaning: He's probably not going to call, except when he's bored and looking for some action like 3 weeks later 

What he says: I lost your number

Meaning: Yes, yes he did. But then he scrolled through his contact list a year later and found it again.

What he says: I think you're hot/sexy

Meaning: He'll like to do you and he's testing the waters to gauge his chances

What he says: I don't do porn/strip clubs

Meaning: He totally does but thinks you'll blow a fuse if he tells you

What he says: She's just a good friend

Meaning: Yes, a good friend he'll like to do... or already did.

What he says: I think we should take a break for a while

Meaning: There's some other chic looming in the horizon he wants to have a fling with but doesn't want to cheat... "technically".

What he says: I'm not ready for a commitment/relationship right now.

Meaning: It's true - he's not, at least not with you. Take his word for it and bounce. Except that he'll try to do you first, that's if he hasn't already... Sowiii

What he says: I like girls without makeup

Meaning: Okay, that's just his way of mildly saying you look like a clown with your heavy makeup. Tone it down 2 or 3 notches.

What he says: I like your natural {African} hair

Meaning: He just doesn't want to have to deal with paying for your expensive hair extensions and trips to the salon.

What he says: I prefer when you wear flat shoes

Meaning: He doesn't like you being taller than him when you wear your heels or your walking-in-heels game is zero. Assume it's whichever hurts less.

What he says: It seems you're not happy being with me. Perhaps I should let you find happiness

Meaning: He's been trying to get you to break up with him but for some reason, you're still hanging on.

What he says: Do you need a massage? I can help

Meaning:  He wants to do you. Don't kid yourself.

What he says: Want to come over and hang out?... or any sentence with "Netflix & chill" in it

Meaning:   He wants to do you. Haven't we taught you anything?

What he says: I can't chose between you and my girlfriend. I like you both too much

Meaning:  Oh he's chosen alright! She's the main chic and you're the side chic.

What he says: It's a guy thing

Meaning:  It's something stupid and chauvinistic. Don't even deal.

What he says: Okay, okay, I'm sorry

Meaning:  It's a half-baked apology that didn't come from the heart but you should probably take it anyway. If you could get a better one, you would have already. Pick your battles.

What he says: Can we talk about this later?

Meaning:  Nah, he's not particularly interested in whatever it is you're saying

What he says: My ex was kinda crazy

Meaning:  Are you really expecting him to say the faults in the relationship were his? Really? 

What he says: I was kidding!

Meaning:  No he wasn't. But since you're offended, he's rethinking what he said

What he says: You look great!

Meaning:  He means that. Or maybe he's just tired of you fishing for compliments. You have to figure out which one it is by yourself.

What he says: I've been busy

Meaning:  Yes he has... with someone else.

What he says: I think we should see other people

Meaning:  LOL! He already is!

What he says: How many boyfriends have you had?

Meaning:  He wants to know how much of a slut you are. 

What he says: I didn't/don't want to bother you

Meaning: Very funny. He just didn't/doesn't want you to know. Deal with it.

What he says: I'll leave my wife for you. 

Meaning: {Hang on, we need to laugh loud and long for a few minutes} Alright, it happens but very rarely. You best don't believe it.

What he says: How do you know that guy?

Meaning:  Yep, he wants to know if y'all have some dating history

What he says: He's actually a good guy when you get to know him

Meaning:  Yeah the said guy is an ass but you'll get used to it.

What he says: You're the only one

Meaning:  More like, you're number 1... or 2... or 3... Yeah, this could go on for a while.

What he says: I like you but...

Meaning:  Once there's a 'but', forgerrit!

What he says: I love you

Meaning:  He's either trying to do you (especially if he says it too soon) or he really means it! Trust your instincts on this one.


There you go. Don't say we never teach you anything!

xoxo...

Girlfriends

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