The Rules Of Thumb

The Girlfriends Blog has brought you several rules {click here to catch up}, some of which have rules of thumb embedded in them. Today, we bring you a short collection of thumb rules to guide you in your everyday life.

Before we begin, you should know that a rule of thumb is basically a homemade recipe for making a guess. It is easy to learn, easy to remember, easy to apply and falls somewhere between a mathematical formula and a shot in the dark. So, let's begin...

*General;

• If you're planning for the future, think ahead by half  of your age at least.

• Looking for an interesting story about yourself? The most interesting things in your life likely happened before you turned 19. (and you wonder why I keep digging up memories from high school)

• When dealing with people, the 'young' think they know everything. The 'middle-aged' think they've learnt everything. The 'old' still have a lot to learn. No matter how old you are, there's always something new and interesting to learn.

• You know you're middle-aged when your high school and college days are featured as nostalgia on TV. You're old when your wedding presents or gifts you received before middle age are sold as antiques.

• You lose about half of your friends and replace them with new ones every four to seven years.

• For sales and marketing purposes, elderly consumers think they are 15 years younger than they actually are. 

• When forced to estimate a woman's age in her presence, take the figure you think she is, divide by two and add 15 for a young woman and add 20 for a woman presumed over 50. To be even safer use 10 and 15 respectively.

• When trying on glasses for size, put them on and look at your feet. If they start to slip off your face, they are too loose.

• If a woman has a tattoo showing, there is a high probability that she has at least one more tattoo that does not show. Hehehe

• A baby's adult height is twice their height when they are 22 months old.

• When buying a gift for a man, anything packaged in yellow will probably please him.

• Beware of people who start a suggestion with 'I don't see why you can't...'

• The self-employed are more likely to live to ripe old age than those who work for others. (What are you waiting for? Quit your job now! LOL!)

• When first meeting a girl, watch what she does with her hands. If she plays with her hair, she likes you. However; if she rubs her nose, forget about her, you don't stand a chance. 

• When listening to someone, show interest by changing your gaze from one eye to the other and back. To get them to stop talking, stare at their mouths or at a spot on their foreheads right above their nose and eyebrows.

• Two people who stare each other in the eye for 60 seconds straight will soon either be fighting or making love.
• Smoking one cigarette interferes with your body's healing ability for two weeks. 

• Any time your lips feel dry, you need water.

• People don't laugh when they're tickled unless they trust the tickler. 

• Men become accident prone at the sight of a beautiful woman.

• Your chances of joining a line of traffic increase if, you make eye contact with a driver in the line. (In Lagos, you have to wave and make signs of begging)

*When taking measurements;

• Twice around the thumb is once around the wrist; twice around the wrist is once around the neck; twice around the neck is once around the waist. 

• Wrap the bottom part of a sock around your fist. If the sock is the right size, the heel will just meet the toe.

• Your wedding ring size is the same as your hat size (Hello single girls)

*Gauging a person's attitude;

• For sincerity, watch a person's shoulders. You should doubt anyone who is speaking with strong emotion and relaxed shoulders.

• If you are talking to someone whose legs are crossed and he wiggles his foot at what you say, he either disagrees with what you are saying, or he wants to add to it, or he wants to talk about something else.

• Shuffling feet signify a restless listener. Feet flat on the floor show attention. Toe tapping indicates impatience.

• Crossing your arms will make you appear less open to be approached.

• If a person will not hold eye contact when you try to explain something to them, they don't believe what you're saying... or they're just not interested.

• If you're talking to someone who wears glasses and the glasses come off and are put on the table, the discussion is over.

• When someone is lying, they'll touch and scratch their nose, lean forward, and use words like 'would not' or 'could not' rather than contractions like 'wouldn't' or 'couldn't'

*When running a business;

• Every consultant and small-business person underestimates the client's ability to pay.

• For every complaint a company receives, there are 26 other customers with problems, and 6 are serious.

• Complainers are more likely than dissatisfied non-complainers to do business again with the company that upset them, even if the problem is not satisfactorily resolved.

• Customers who have complained to a company and who had their complaint satisfactorily resolved tell an average of five people about it.

• Between 54 percent and 70 percent of customers who complain to a company will do business again with the company if their complaint is resolved. That figure increases to 95 percent if the customer feels the complaint was resolved quickly.

• The average customer who has had a problem with a company tells nine or ten people about it.

• If you get rid of the 20 percent of your customers who cause 80 percent of your headaches, your profit will increase by 30 percent.

• Do not start a new business unless you can wait at least one year before realizing a profit.

• Choosing a bid? Throw out the highest and lowest bids. Get the average of the rest and choose the one closest to the average.

• If someone you're interviewing makes the same point more than twice, it's the most important thing to him, and a crucial clue to his personality.

• If someone says, 'It's not the money, it's the principle,' it's the money.

*On dressing;

• If a person is poorly dressed, you notice the clothes. If impeccably dressed, you notice the person.

• Horizontal lines on clothes make you look fat, while vertical lines make you look taller and thinner.

• If a clothing item needs any alteration other than shortening, don't buy it.

• People are more likely to remember you if you always wear the same outfit... and not in a good way.

• Wearing dark colors on the bottom and light colors on the top is usually more visually appealing than the reverse.

• Intelligence can be measured by the number of buttons fastened on a person's shirt. The more buttons fastened, the higher the IQ.

• A man's watch and shoes are his most important power accessories

• Girls, to determine whether you need to wear a bra, place a pencil under you breast. If the pencil falls to the floor, you don't need to wear a bra; if it stays, you need one please.

• When in doubt, overdress. It is easier to dress down than up

• If you have to ask yourself the question "Is it Navy or Black ?", then it's Navy. If it's Black, there's no doubt because there's no mistaking the color Black. So, if you have to ask, it's Navy!

• Red is the color most likely to attract attention.

*On food & Drinks;

• Your thumb and index finger will encircle four modest servings of uncooked spaghetti for one person (Hmm!)

• One cup of uncooked rice will feed four people. (Really? Which cup? In Nigeria and with jollof rice?)

• The first time it occurs to you that you have eaten enough, you have.

• If you can't figure out what you want to eat, you're not hungry.

• To estimate the amount of food you should eat at a sitting, clasp your hands together. If your meal is significantly bigger than that, you're eating more than your body needs. 

• If you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, you're not hungry.

• It doesn't matter how much fun you're having or how clever the name of the drink is, shots are never a good idea after midnight. You will always be sorry in the morning.

• To maintain sobriety at an important social event, make every second drink water

• One drink for a woman is the same as two for a man.

xoxo... 

Girlfriends 


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