Based on the feedback received from the survey carried out a short while ago, a reader (Hiiii Angel!) asked that we discuss the notion that "It's more difficult for a chic to find a husband after the age of 30". If you're a single chic and have crossed the big "Three-Oh" (or fast approaching it )... fret not! You're certainly not alone. Get in here and let's chew on this for a bit, shall we? While we wont be stopping or slowing time to stop your journey into/through your fourth decade on earth, we can certainly discuss and come up with solutions for finding a husband at or after the age of 30.
Now, let's get down to business. We checked out what some guys at hubpages had to say about this and here's what we learnt.
1) Get back to your early dating years - Remember when you dated for the fun, the food and to relax? Now you're literally turning dates into job interviews.. asking serious questions that make the men feel they are being debriefed. You bring up marriage too soon and scare off potential husbands. Nuh uh, try going back to your old self. Be free, be fun, be exciting to hang out with. This will put your dates at ease and you'll be much more likely to find the right person.
2) Appear more feminine and youthful - This one is really simple, wear less makeup (and never sleep with makeup on), drink more water, get enough rest and sleep, moisturize, get good exercise, eat fruits and vegetables, avoid sugar, dress nice, be well groomed... you know the drill. Start doing!
Oooh, I almost forgot the hair part... they said long, flowing locks suggest youth. So, if you're lucky to have your own hair growing out well or you've invested in hair extensions, good for ya!
Oooh, I almost forgot the hair part... they said long, flowing locks suggest youth. So, if you're lucky to have your own hair growing out well or you've invested in hair extensions, good for ya!
3) Consider going out more - Most of us have a cycle of going to work and going back home straight up. Love solitude? Same here... if only you could marry it. LOL! Anyhoo, the experts say if you want to meet people, you need to be around people. So to meet the men, you gotta go where the men are. Try joining gyms, clubs, fun games/recreational activities like bowling or golf, visit restaurants and bars that have big screen TVs during major sporting events. Check out business networking events. Apparently, it's a numbers game, so the more you place yourself among the company of men, the higher the chances of meeting and catching Mr. Right. You might also want to consider picking a male-domineering field when going back to School for higher education or changing careers. Think Engineering and Information Technology... just make sure you can deal. No point setting yourself up for failure.
4) Learn to fly solo - Yeah, it's quite alright to have a clique of gal pals but sometimes, you gotta think of breaking away and doing your own thing. If you are always amidst your clique, you reduce the chances of the men approaching you. We're not saying you should do everything solo, but just realize that most men don't want to walk up to a table of women to talk to you and risk rejection and humiliation. Also, the experts say to stop taking advice about men from other single girlfriends. Oops!
5) Clean up your social media presence - Ah, I quite recently had a guy asking me to hook him up with any friend of mine he could settle down with. Well the specs he gave me happened to fit a friend so I asked him to check her out on Facebook. Not quite 5 minutes later, he came back to say "she doesn't look decent, she's just showing breast up and down". So yeah, the guys say when they are looking for a serious relationship, they want a woman who looks like she would make a good wife and not one that's half-naked in her social media pictures for the entire world to see. Apparently, those pictures automatically make them assume you're an unfaithful slut. Hehehe.
6) Be confident - This actually goes without saying. Confidence is sexy. Smile, be friendly, say hi to that guy you like (it won't kill you if you don't get a response) Your friendliness can be just the ticket to getting him to start a conversation with you. Even if he's married, he may have a brother or a friend you may like, just make sure you don't start falling for that married one!
Bonus - Be less intimidating. This one comes with mixed feelings... I once received the tip/advice to stop wearing high-heeled shoes because that intimidates men. LOL! Anyhoo, the men argue that if you're doing very well for yourself - good job, good house, good car, fancy vacations every once in a while and all the luxury works - chances are an interested guy may think there is nothing else he can do for you. My Mom certainly agrees with this too.
We are not saying you should drab down by doing away with your hard-earned acquisitions, just try to be more attractive to men by giving the impression that you're open to be provided for. Allow him take you out in his car - don't insist on bringing your own car. Let him treat you to a meal - you don't have to fight him over the bill or insist on paying your share etc etc.
Well, there you go. Which of these tips do you agree with and will be putting into practice ASAP? Got anymore to add? Share in the comments and don't forget to drink lots of water!
xoxo...
Girlfriends.
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I will try and be less intimidating, they all make sense.
ReplyDeleteYay! Good for you. Be sure to let us know how that works out please.
DeleteWhilst doing that try not to be fake dearie... cos you may end up being accused of hiding the real you... you can only really suppress who you are for so long.
DeleteTrue. No point trying to be who you ain't. Be unapologetically you! However, that doesn't mean one can't strive to be a better person. In her case, if she wants to appear less-intimidating, I don't see why not.
Deletexoxo...
Hmmm...nice...I like all d suggestions, already doing most of dat except for hanging out alone where men are, I feel it makes a lady look desperate. And as for d intimidating part, u will think a guy wud be grateful he met a girl dats a total package..oh well.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I understand the desperate under-note of that one too... but its probably just in our heads. As long as your presence at such places, isn't out of place (eg being the only female there or constantly seen at one particular place talking to different guys about relationships/marriage) you should be fine. Try to go where you can fit in and join in regular conversaation.
Delete... Don't forget to mix it up. Go to different places.
DeleteTrust me a lot of guys will not approach a bevy of girls... nd he crazy thing is the girls your hanging out with are probably in very serious relationships or married! Try to go solo more often... go for lunch alone, go to tht nuce movie alone... you'll soon discover that more eligible guys will approach you versus when you are with your "girls"... thank men later.
DeleteYes, the post already says to learn to fly solo based on feedback from the men. Am I missing your point?
DeleteHmmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteTess at it again, making sense though. But why you dey always quick forget to add prayers as your marriage conclusive points?lol
Oshe my Marriage mentor, Enforcer
Beautiful post. I love the way you write, very interactive. I certainly picked some stuff. off to practice.
ReplyDeleteYay! Thanks dear.
DeleteGood luck and dont forget to share the experience with us :)